Soccer

Noah started soccer 7 weeks ago, an activity I had been looking forward to since the day he began walking. I wanted Noah to gain experience in a group setting with “typical” peers and since he has strong gross motor skills and loves ball play, soccer seemed like the perfect activity. Prior to registering Noah, I called the owner of the soccer company to ask about their experience with children with Autism and to make sure it would be a good fit. For Noah’s age group (3 years old), there are two options: a parent participation class and a class without parents on the field. The owner encouraged me to try out the non-parent participation class to see how Noah does and said that I could remain on the field for moral support until Noah felt ready to do soccer on his own. Although I was really anxious about my choice to have Noah do the non-parent class, there was a small part of me that hoped that I was just underestimating Noah and that he would be ok without me.

To prepare Noah for soccer, we watched videos and songs about soccer and practiced kicking a soccer ball around at home. He seemed excited about soccer until the first class…The first day of soccer was not very successful. Noah cried and sat on my lap for almost the entire class. Toward the end of class, I was able to get him to stand up and run around for a little bit. I tried to help him build a relationship with the coaches by prompting Noah to give them high fives and knuckles. It was super frustrating for me since all the activities the class was doing are things he likes (i.e. running, walking backward, kicking balls, pretending to look for sharks) yet he was so anxious and unable to join in. In addition, he did not reference any of his peers which was also frustrating since the purpose of soccer was to help Noah with his social interactions.

The second and third week of class was not much better. There were lots of tears. As the only parent on the field, I felt an immense amount of pressure to back off with supporting Noah and let the coaches take over. Noah did run around with one of the coaches during the second practice and I made the terrible mistake of hanging out of view for a few minutes since he seemed to be having fun. As soon as Noah couldn’t see me, he started crying and running around the field looking for me. I left class feeling defeated, crying on the way home. Watching all the other 3- and 4-year-old children wave goodbye to their parents as they stepped on the field without any issue and follow multi-step directions during class, made me feel like Noah and I really didn’t belong in this group. In addition, class began with each child stating their name and favorite flavor of ice cream. Noah just learned how to answer the question, “What’s your name?” but it certainly isn’t something he is able to answer with unfamiliar people and it is the only question he is able to answer because he has specifically been taught how to say his name at school.  It is painful that I have to respond for him at soccer as he is the only child unable to introduce himself. After the third class, I called the owner to troubleshoot how we could help Noah be more successful at soccer and also see if there were any spots left in the parent participation group. Luckily, we were able to switch to the parent participation group which is really something we should have done in the first place.

When we arrived at our first parent participation soccer group, there were several kids clinging to their parents and as the warm up activities began, some kids were doing their own thing, while others were able to follow along. I immediately felt a sense of relief that we found the right crew! Both Noah and I felt so much less pressure. If we wanted to sit out an activity and take a break, it was completely ok. If I needed to hold Noah’s hand through every activity, it was ok!

Noah still struggles immensely with participating and following directions but now the difference is he is happy and relaxed at soccer.  Why does Noah struggle so much? I’ve spent a lot of time analyzing why Noah has difficulty. First, Noah has difficulty knowing what to focus his attention on. There are a lot of cool things and people to check out on the field. He completely misses the cues that he is supposed to be doing what the coach and the kids in his group are doing. I don’t think he sees a difference in the soccer field vs. just being at the playground where he is free to play in whichever manner he chooses. He does not understand the expectations of soccer and therefore sometimes chooses to play in the dirt, run over to the next group to check them out or sit and observe with me. While it may look like he is avoiding the activity or directions, he is not even aware that he is supposed to be following a direction as he has complexly missed all the cues.  Right now, his cue to engage in activities is me modeling what to do. Second, Noah is not able to follow multi-step directions. Noah has significant language delays and is still working on following a variety of one step directions at home and at school. So, a soccer field with lots going on is not the ideal environment for Noah to successfully follow directions. Once again, I’ve had to drastically adjust my expectations for Noah at soccer. At this point, I just want him to enjoy going and to participate in most of the activities with my help. Independence at soccer is a very long-term goal and frankly may never happen. We will keep at it though because the more exposure Noah has to soccer, the more likely he is to have positive gains from the experience.